I have a dear friend, her name is JenyferLynn - i know her in real life, she is decently over 18 and has a great deal of fun playing a child avatar (she does like many have an adult 'alt' but out of respect for her privacy i am not gonna disclose who that is)... this is a picture i did for jeny and her profile, she put the background together and i did the rest of the work:
Jeny has lucky out and is part of a great family. I, unlike jeny, prefer to play the parent role in second life.... while there are many good children out there like Jeny (several i count as good friends!) there are also bad apples.
My first small child in SL was named Amaya - she was great and we got along for several weeks and then just all of a sudden *POOF* she wasn't coming on for almost 3 weeks... after the 4th week of contact i noticed that she had logged on but never contacted me.... odd right? i sent her a note and asked that if she still wanted to continue the relationship that she should let me know what was going on - particularly wh yshe unchecked my ability to "view login status" (in other words i couldn't see when she logged in like other friends). In the end Amaya gave me an excuse which ... welll who knows, she detailed something about her real life and... I just in the end had a feeling she wasn't into playing a child avatar any more.
The second time i tried to adopt small children in SL was recently, i thought it was going well but found out today... not so much. I played a lot and was beginning to "teach" one of the wins i was on trial with and also was preparing for her to attend school she really is a good girl - however her counterpart and twin Fiona Flasheart is NOT.
Fiona Flasheart is the twin i had initial contact with - spent some hours with her over the first day and 1/2 of the trial nad then she disappeared, again she like amaya didn't seem to log in. I spoke with the "good" twin about how she felt about Fiona not logging in and while i would always welcome Fiona as part of my family - maybe adopting another child so the "good" twin would have a playmate may have a good idea? this conversation only happened today...
While offline i received an email the the good twin sent me ... it sounded a little emotional when i read it, and a great deal confused... basically she was ending her relationship with me but wasn't truly explaining why.
I had a feeling that she, the good twin, may have mentioned our conversation about adopting another child to Fiona and Fiona took it out of context and didn't understand. I mean i understood fiona had RL school and we all have important things... the only contact i made an attempt at with fiona when she "disappeared" was to drop her 2 messages saying things like "i hope school is going good, we miss you", i made no other attempts to contact her.
I found out later thru a shared "family" member that Fiona seems to have had other motives in pursuing a family RP relationship ... she took my brother for a 350L SL football jersey... and while i did not give her more than say 30L directly (5L here and there) i did make some purchase for which i still retain ownership for that i would not have neccesarily made if it weren't for the twins. Fiona also made comments about my beign nagging to some others, which is not true... the one thing i can say about my second situation is if you come across FIONA its probably best to stay away i have a strong feeling she is only looking for someone to support her FULLY and while i don't mind doing this for and with my SL children i am not here to support their adult avatars thru "allowances" or "purchases" for their child avatar.
In summation if your gonna adopt (and i am gonna try again) children avatars in second life, here is some well thought out advice:
1. if you use an adoption service - be aware of the rules (i use/have used the group "making adoption wishes come true"
2. do not make any large purchases which you then give to or the children have ownership rights to - if the trial does not work out, thats money wasted - always retain ownership if you feel you MUST by the child something
3. avoid giving large sums to the children - i would say avoid giving any linden directly until after the trial is over and a solid relationship is established.
4. Trust your gut - if something doesn't feel right, just like in real life .. .walk away! There are plenty
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